Hey people's. Thanks for being so sodding patient with me, I know it's been a while since I uploaded something worth looking at or reading.

The past has been jumping up and kicking me in the arse recently, especially about my ex boyfriend.
However, I feel I'm doing really well at moving on and coming out as a much stronger person. I've rediscovered a deep love of music due to recent events involving my guides. I've become more atuned to the sound and starting to understand it's power. Been playing my guitar a lot recently and listening to music almost all the time.
Also got the desire to start sketching again this morning. So if that lust is still there by the time I get home 'hopefully' I'll have some new sketches up by the end of the week.

Having a hard time moving on to be honest. Been worrying about a particular friend (you know who you are), she's not been at all well and she's one of my nearest and dearest *sadface*. Everytime I see a picture of my past 'friends' together, my heart sinks. But hell, in the words of Black Stone Cherry, "Just like the seasons, I'm gonna change"
Have a bad habit of going emotionally numb in situations like this, so I don't have to deal with it, ya know? But gonna try and be stronger and face it.
You can only beat fear by looking it right in and eye and feeling nothing. Some of my past fears I'm now fighting well, like my claustraphobia and so on.

The songs that've been influencing me most TBH are,

-Until It Sleeps by Metallica (To do with plenty of sleepness nights, and a particular gentleman 'really' helping me out with that),

-Sanitarium (Welcome Home) by Metallica (Generally feeling like a bit of a loon the last few weeks, one minute happy, the next minute horriblly depressed and all. Been snapping at people, lashing out. Which as many know, isn't me)

-Truth by Seether (About telling people my feelings and feeling weak at the moment, when I'm usually strong)

-Until The End by Breaking Benjamin (A song that makes me get up and try harder when I feel down about particular 'friends' who simply dropped me as soon and me and Jeff finished)

-Time Of Dying by Three Days Grace (About my dear friends coming to my aid when I needed them most. I love you all to the core. You know who you are)

-Realign by Godsmack (Coming back from my troubles with a smile on my face)

-Tired Of The Rain by Black Stone Cherry (About two people that helped me most through my troubles and proving to the world that I'm stronger than it thinks)

-Polyamorus by Breaking Benjamin (If you want a rough idea of how I felt after it happened, limping up the street and calling for help. Then listen to this)

-'Til We Die by Slipknot (About me and my friends, all been fucked up but we always come out stronger)

I hope this gives some people insight as to why things have slowed right the fuck down in the artsy world of Captain Amzy (Sorry, discovered a deep love for pirates, I'm now known by some as Captain Amzy of The S.S. Arsefezz. Which'll soon be our pirate metal band with my dear Chan)

Well, thats about it.
As I said, hope to have some sketches up by the end of the week, if it happens, it happens. If not, better luck next time eh?

Laters